The Curly Girls' AsianCation: Anchors Away in Halong Bay

When we arrived at the Halong Bay pier, our jaws dropped at the breathtaking scenery. Halong Bay is filled with limestone formations that jut out of the water hundreds of feet into the air, and the water looks calm and dotted with white boats. We and our bags were whisked on board one of those boats, handed a little white washcloth and drinks, and we sailed away.

Huan and his crew were instant friends before we even left the moor. I had been told how friendly Vietnamese people are, and we have absolutely found that to be true. Their energy and smile is constant. The crew has taken really good care of us on this boat, always serving me specially-prepared restaurant-quality vegetarian meals and waiting with warm towels in hand when we get out of the water from swimming. It's going to be hard to leave.

We spent the afternoon on a bamboo boat and a two-person sea kayak. Despite threats, Alysa did not tip it over on me. It was awesome to get up-close and personal with the sheets of limestone rock, and sad to see the shrimp and fishing nets tangled up in it. We hopped on a bamboo boat with four other guests, all of whom we found very entertaining. Two were a couple where the woman was from Vietnam and the man was from Spain, and neither spoke each other's native language. Their English was only moderately functional. We still don't quite understand how they communicate in their marriage or how the courting process worked, but the joke was that their fights must not ever last long. The others were a guy and girl about our age who taught geography/history and studied law, respectively, in New Zealand. I got the digs on the education system, New Zealand demographics, and honeymoon destinations from these two :)

Back on board, we stayed dry for all of two minutes before jumping off of the boat into the water. Being the Minnesotan that I am, I came up spluttering and yelling, "It's SALTY!!!" The salt gave me a jolt after being so used to jumping into lakes, and I think I gave everyone a good laugh.

Back on board, we enjoyed piña coladas made with fresh pineapple during happy hour. A group of Aussies took it upon themselves to make it a really happy hour and entertain the rest of us. The cooking demonstration that followed was as about as rowdy as fruit-carving can get. We learned to make rose garnishes from tomatoes and carrots an traditional Vietnamese spring rolls! They were so easy that they could easily be made at home.

Nem (Deep-Fried Spring Roll) Recipe

Carrot, chopped

Green onion, chopped

Onion, chopped

Perfume mushrooms

Black mushrooms

Vermicelli noodles

Egg, raw

Shrimp and chicken (or crab, prawns, beef, anything. Tofu for yours truly.)

Roll it all up tightly in a sheet of rice paper while counting loudly in Vietnamese to eight (Mod! Hai! Bah!...). Fry for 5-10 minutes and boom! Delicious.

Dinner was a white-linen five-course affair. Alysa and I even put on our "nice" tank tops. The veggie dishes were top-notch and the presentation was gorgeous. I think we ate a salad out of jackfruit skin (Alysa wouldn't let me eat the skin). Our elbows wouldn't stay off the table because I know my head (and eyelids) needed to be propped up after an active, relaxing day.

Little did we know, this cruise could get better. Much better. We were the only two passengers aboard who elected to stay for three days instead of two, so the boat needed to drop off everyone else at the port. Meanwhile, they brought Alysa and I our own private boat for the day. We had no idea what we had in store, except that this was going to be a smaller boat. When we embarked, we found ourselves on a boat with five staff members to take care of just me and Alysa for the day. One was the cook, one was our captain, one prepped our cabin, and our favorite new friend Tuán was our crew manager.

We thoroughly enjoyed chatting with Tuán about cultural and language idiosyncrasies. He found it challenging that one word in English can be pronounced many different ways depending on the speaker's nationality. For example, "water" is said "wah-der" in the U.S., "wuh-ehh" by Australians, and "woa-teh" by Brits. I give him so much credit for how fantastic his American English sounds - which he credits to YouTube. Tuán taught us the six tones of the Vietnamese language, which can give a single word six different meanings. For instance, Tuán's name should be pronounced ending on a high note, almost like asking a question, or else it means "week". Turns out that while I had been trying to say hello in Vietnamese, I'd actually been saying "Noodle soup!"

After an hour of basking in the sun onboard, we reached the port of Cat Ba Island. There we hopped on bicycles and headed out for a 5k ride with Tuán. The tiny road wound along the bay and then into a stunning national park. Water buffalo, jackfruit trees, and baby mountain goats were all part of the natural scenery.

We walked through a local village where 280 people live, all sustained by selling fish and raising their own crops for their families. We asked many questions to patient Tuán, like, "How many of these children go to high school?" "What are those sheets of grains on the ground?" "Have we seen any banana trees?" (Answers: Not many. Rice, in the husks. Yes, so many that I can't believe you didn't notice.) We, in turn, bolstered his vocabulary of American slang and helped plan his trip to Manhattan.

The heat got the best of us, giving both me and Alysa good burn-lines on our backs from the midday sun. Tuán told us that he lost ten pounds since taking his job from the sauna-like weather conditions, and he joked that it made him even smaller. (Tuán is 167 centimeters tall - good luck with the conversion - and definitely weighs less than I do). I told him that my fiancé is almost two meters tall, and he could hardly process how tall that is. Once it sunk in, he exclaimed, "I've never seen someone so tall!! He's like the Incredible Hulk!"

The bikes clanked and rattled their way through the lush mountains and rice paddy fields, and mine came to a quick halt when Tuán pointed out a lychee tree. I love this exotic fruit, and I frequently order lychee martinis in the U.S. just so I can snack on the lychee garnishing the drink ;) to see a whole tree of them got me nearly jumping up and down. Tuán spoke with the home owner whose front yard housed the tree, and he let us pick a lychee or two and eat it fresh! It was delicious and had so much more flavor than the ones served in the U.S. Then, to our happy surprise, Tuán dug in his pockets for cash, handed it to the local homeowner, and bought us a heaping bag of lychees!

At our romantic table set for two (#lolz) back on board our charter boat, we enjoyed a five course lunch - the final of which was a plate of lychees :) Every request of ours was granted on this full-service boat, and Tuán was always just within reach to continue the conversation. We were so sad to disembark and join up with the big boat again - I almost begged Tuán to let us stay. I'm not sure how to properly thank his crew, except to recommend to you readers to book with Bhaya Cruises on Halong Bay!

The pampering didn't stop there. We were greeted with "Vietnamese whisky" (which isn't actually alcoholic, but it's very popular and looks like whiskey. Lipton tea, sugar, and lemon = yum.) and tickets for complimentary massages on board. This was my first massage in Southeast Asia, so I didn't know what to expect other than the unexpected. Sure enough, this tiny Vietnamese masseuse caught me off guard when she jumped up on the table and hovered over me while digging her tiny fingers into my back. The sensation that she caused around my shoulder blades made me want to laugh, cry, or somewhere in between. Alysa and I both breathed sighs of relief when we found that we had similar experiences.

Massages were followed by bia hoi (beer) during happy hour. Just what we needed to rehydrate ;) During today's rendition of spring roll demonstrations, both Alysa and I took the stage! I carved a flower-carrot for the crowd (ooh ahh) and Alysa rolled a near perfect spring roll. It was a close call among her and two other competitors, but the judge ruled her as the Master Chef! A certain American in the crowd cheered loudly for her big win.